Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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