what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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