At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
