We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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