Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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