im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
