trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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