i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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