What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
