I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
