Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
