come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
