I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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