Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
