guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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