Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
if only i could text you this smell
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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