yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do vagina's smell?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
