Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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