My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
