Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
