all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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