he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
