you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
