Do vagina's smell?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
