This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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