Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
