I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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