Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
