Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
