I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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