You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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