Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
