I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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