on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
