Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
