Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
