hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So much rum. So many feels.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
