would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
