im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
