Banned from zoo.
Again?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
