hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
