yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
