this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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