I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i came on her dog
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
