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• (619): View more from California

  So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.

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• (650): View more from California

  they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You may now shotgun with the bride

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  You sure know how to make a day worth living.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder

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• (716): View more from New York

  Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.

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