I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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