even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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