Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Ketchup is God's man juice
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
