It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
