We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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