I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize